See you on the other side of the moon, Space Rocker.

Big Sur

2008-09-16T23:06:00.001-07:00

So I went to Big Sur today, and its absolutely incredible. I'll post photos of my epic voyage tomorrow.

Moving away ...

2008-09-15T21:34:00.000-07:00

So I finished packing today. My roomate's furniture is completely pink. Good lord, my dorm will look like a watermelon that exploded.

Uncertainty.

2008-08-25T03:11:00.001-07:00

Its late at night. I am sipping some dry oxygen wondering around a future that might never be.

Long term goals

2008-08-22T00:02:00.000-07:00

Admittance into UCI's Honors Program
Review my mathematic skills
Read the Cliff Note's Guide to Biology
Read a lot of book, namely: Along Came a Spider, by James Patterson, The Last Lecture, Walden Pond by Henry David Thoreau, and Medical School Confidential. If I have time in the future, I would like to tackle that one book Evan recommended me and also Hogfather and American Gods.
Scholarships that I keep putting off.

Phew, it looks like I have a lot to do after all. Maybe I won't feel too bored, lonely or idle.

The See Off

2008-08-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow is my last day with Charley before he embarks on his epic journey for knowledge. His mother asked me if I wanted to accompany him, but I declined and said that I had church. It is just an excuse. A feeble one at that. I think deep down inside I am still somewhat bitter. As terrible as this may sound, I don't have the heart of a saint, but at least I have the balls to admit I don't.

Some goals of mines

2008-08-18T20:59:00.000-07:00

Short Term:

Pass my driver's permit
Eventually get my license sometime before school starts soon
Sign up for a passport
Register as a voter
Get a job as a poll clerk in the upcoming election
Teach Charley how to bike
Apply for a few scholarships
Purchase MCAT books
Apply for the UCI Honors Program
Get my shots for UCI's Medical thing.
Call UCI about my Cal Grant
Call UCI about my transcript
Accept my UCI financial program
Start on "Le Cadeau Du Temps" -- my new game

Phew. See you on the other side of the Moon, Space Rocker.

Strange Dreams

2008-08-17T21:31:00.000-07:00

Hm, so I had the most bizarre dream this morning. Well, two dreams to be precise. The first imagery I had conjured up in my mind was of my mother finding the blue box which I had my camera in ( in reality, I had lost them ... ) and when I opened up the box, there were TEN cameras that suddenly came to life. Unfortunately, that dream was cut short because my parents had rudely awakened me while they were noisily cooking breakfast outside.

I rolled over and went to sleep again. In retrospect, I kind of regret it because I had a nightmare right after.

Apparently, I was "blown" from the Earth and I found myself waking up in some strange and foreign planet where everything was made out of rusty metal. I explored the area and it was like this giant building that was abandoned. I finally found my first sign of life -- a young girl at a computer terminal. I asked her what had happened and where I was. She said something amongst these lines, "You were blown from the Earth ..." And I questioned, "Blown from the Earth?" She replied plainly, "Yes. The Earth is almost completely destroyed. Mexico, the continent ( well ... its not, but that is what she said ) is completely gone." I decided to go into this room and salvage what was left. When I turned on the lights I was in the Cunningham computer labs! Strangely, there were some computers that were completely intact and they were running even though the facility had no electrical source. Well, at least none that I could tell. So I salvaged all of the working computers and attempted to research what had happened to the Earth.

I don't remember what happened after that, but later I found myself in my room with a lamp above my head. It blinked and then it shut off. A voice in my head said to me, in a sneering way, that I had to live the rest of my life without modern technology. I was so afraid, I was thinking about alternative energy sources or something that could make surviving in this hell-like world more comfortable ... then I thought what it would be like to live and here and die alone.

I became so scared I pulled out my cellphone and decided to call my friends and to ask them where they were. Apparently I had gotten a hold of some people who said they were in a similar situation as I was ... yet they were too far away from me. Then I called Jasmine Singh, a friend of mines from high school/junior college. I asked her how she was and she replied that she was fine. I thought that was strange because I couldn't imagine her being very comfortable in this situation either.

I asked her where she was, and she told me that she was in Stockton. I was shocked and asked her, "How can you? The world is destroyed." She said something like this, "What are you talking about? Everything is fine here?" Then the voice faded and I was so scared and lost, the sky turned a bright magenta and I suddenly became really uncomfortable and started to have a hard time breathing. I dropped the phone and felt queasy. Before I knew it ... I had blacked out in the dream world, only to wake up in the real world where I shot straight up from my bed and looked around. I was confused ... for a minute I thought I was teleported home, but it took me awhile to realize that it was all ...

A dream.

See you on the other side, Space Rocker.

Slight memorable conversations.

2008-07-28T10:52:00.000-07:00

(Gold4Lugers) hello
(YDS) Hello
(Gold4Lugers) long time no talk
(YDS) How are you doing Hatsuya?
(Gold4Lugers) Working on my NetGame Crisis Saga game
(YDS) Ah, good deal. What is about?
(YDS) And what platform are you making it in?
(Gold4Lugers) RPG Maker XP
(Gold4Lugers) and a possible remake via DarkBasic or in GDK C++. (in case I decided to make a RO-like RTS RPG)
(Gold4Lugers) here's the story
(Gold4Lugers) A high-end sci-fi fantasy online role-playing game called "Neo Terra" was released worldwide by a multinational game company named "Vexel", in conjunction of a summer anime, manga, and game convention. On the first day of the game's worldwide Torrent, hi-speed DDL and DVD disc, and Blu-Ray release, roughly 12.5 million players around the world logged in to the game. For the Vexel company, it was a success. A week after its record-breaking
(Gold4Lugers) In response of the exploit abuse, unexplainable player injuries and deaths began happening worldwide, and it started in "Kaijo Nippon" and in Arroyo
(YDS) Sounds like dot.hack
(Gold4Lugers) yeah, but a bit more brutal and random like the Final Destination movies
(Gold4Lugers) it's like: If my swordsman character got electrocuted and died, I might die by being electrocuted.
(Gold4Lugers) I dunno how would people in real world die if their character got killed by a "wind element" or being beamed to death.
(YDS) In the real world
(YDS) ?
(Gold4Lugers) yeah.
(Gold4Lugers) and the characters, well as much as possible, I would like to have Japanese, Americans, Koreans, Filipinos, Chinese, Russians and even Germans together
(YDS) Good deal
(Gold4Lugers) here's the NetGame Crisis Saga blog: http://netgamecrisissaga.blogspot.com
(Gold4Lugers) and also, I might reveal some exclusive NGCS info in my own board: http://z4.invisionfree.com/The_HATSU_Nation
(YDS) Ah
(YDS) Why don't you post at RMN?
(Gold4Lugers) well, it might end up being overlooked and underrated.
(Gold4Lugers) And about the "HATSU! Nation", it's a small organization that "we welcome what others can't welcome, we like what others dislike"
(Gold4Lugers) Basically, HATSU! Nation was supposed to be the "GW & GF Rejects Sanctuary"
(Gold4Lugers) One notable quote from a certain character: "[???], to end your fears and sufferings... poke that diamond rapier of yours on my throat when the 'Red Flash' is triggered"
(YDS) Good deal. What is the context of that?
(Gold4Lugers) Well, it's one of my NGCS emo character's notable quote. Inspiration? Well, it's me in my suicidal side (a.k.a. Mirai Kuroi at that time).
(YDS) Shitty deal
(Gold4Lugers) ?
(YDS) Oh, that you, er, wanted to commit suicide.
(Gold4Lugers) well, last 2 years ago, 'cause I've been a bad friend on someone, thus rendering me
creating one of my "sides", until now I still have him, but the good deal is he's chained and sleeping deep
(YDS) Oh. That is good
(Gold4Lugers) "I won't help you in your quests no matter how in the hell would you spam!" ~This one's based on both Nessiah and my former crush 2 years ago, and it had a slight relation with the emo character I've cited
(YDS) Former crush?
(Gold4Lugers) Miki.
(Gold4Lugers) She's the one.
(YDS) Oh, that sucks. Do you have a new crush now?
(Gold4Lugers) Well, I have three, and four, countin' her until now.
(Gold4Lugers) Well, I have three, and four, countin' her until now.
(Gold4Lugers) By 2:00am +08:00 GMT, I have to go to sleep
(YDS) Alrighty. Have a good night
(Gold4Lugers) I still have 8 minutes though
(Gold4Lugers) YDS, even though we're enemies by groups (GF x HATSU! nation), if I happen to finish my games, would you still play it?
(YDS) Why not.
(Gold4Lugers> Angelo Dela Mercedes, my main character was supposed to be gay (esp. during its Silver Sunflowers time)
(YDS) Ah.
(YDS) Gay?
(Gold4Lugers) but it turned out that I have to tweak him up, into a TV series fanatic. BTW, it's my Hatoru-kun (remember when I used Hatoru as my nick?)
(Gold4Lugers) yes.
(YDS) Yeah.
(Gold4Lugers) Originally, he already kissed five male celebrities in a "fan's day".
(Gold4Lugers) YDS, even though we're enemies by groups (GF x HATSU! nation), if I happen to finish my games, would you still play it?
(YDS) Why not.
(Gold4Lugers) Angelo Dela Mercedes, my main character was supposed to be gay (esp. during its Silver Sunflowers time)
(YDS) Ah.
(YDS) Gay?
(Gold4Lugers) but it turned out that I have to tweak him up, into a TV series fanatic. BTW, it's my Hatoru-kun (remember when I used Hatoru as my nick?)
(Gold4Lugers) yes.
(YDS) Yeah.
(Gold4Lugers) Originally, he already kissed five male celebrities in a "fan's day".
(Gold4Lugers) if you're still thinkin' that I might act back as "Hatsuyashi", I can't tell when, but it might come out if I really need him to.
(YDS) Who is Hatsuyashi?
(Gold4Lugers) Oh my, this seems to be a refresher regarding my Den-O Complex (simply MPD). I use that name if I'm really in deep rage, when my suicidal and violent thoughts get along with each other
(Gold4Lugers) if you happen to see me in RL and angry on the 'nets, expect me typing fast, with matching any evil music in the background
(YDS) Ah

Log of the Day

2008-07-17T11:41:00.001-07:00

[11:38] Anigmasis: http://www.ashelia.com/Ashe_aka_Ashelia_Princess.jpg How do you fight wearing that?
[11:38] silvershadelynx: promiscuously

Survey!

2008-07-16T12:34:00.000-07:00

1. Would you make a fool out of yourself in public if it meant you were making your partner laugh?
Of course. Smiles of my friends is what I cherish most.

2. Would you prefer the lights on or off during sex?
Uh ...

3. Do you judge people solely by their musical preferences?
I try not too ... but I'll admit its hard.

4. If you could 'take back' your virginity from your first partner, would you?
Uh ...

5. Would you ever start a relationship with someone who was still living with an ex for financial reasons?
I depends on the person.

6. Do you need to know everything about someone's past?
Nope, but I'll always offer open ears. Though I can't stand people who pressure others to talk about personal things. My philosophy is someone will tell me if they are ready. Unless its something life threatening and dire, people should be comfortable.

7. It is more worthwhile and satisfying to improve the world or appreciate the world?
A mixture of both is healthiest. Improve the world because you love it.

8. Do you feel you have a purpose or calling in life?
Somewhat ... but I feel its being muted by other battling voices.

9. Do you believe that dreams can be messages from a "higher level"?
Erm ... no. That sounds like some kooky superstition.

10. Would you rather have a great friend you could share everything with or a great lover you can't really talk to?
A great friend who is a great lover. I wouldn't love someone who I couldn't talk to.

11. Is the male or female body the closest to perfection?
Whatever.

12. Should a child who's caught masturbating be punished?
Erm ... That's a strange question. I don't really know about "punished" but the adult should have a serious conversation with him/her.

13. Do you like kissing in public?
I guess a peck to the lips or the hand is charming, but god, people should keep their spit to themselves in front of others.

14. Do you have a fetish that you would like to employ in your next relationship?
Uh, no.

15. Did America really put a man on the moon?
Yes.

16. Would you date someone significantly (9 years or over) older than you?
Erm, I guess that would depends on several factors, but I don't see myself doing that.

17. Generally, in life, what makes you happy?
Adventures! And living everyday excited for the next.

18. How well do you handle criticism?
Depends on who it is and how its said.

19. Would you like to date someone a lot purer than you?
What?

20. When fooling around with someone, do you sometimes have sexual fantasies about other people?
Erm, that's disgusting.

21. Is it possible for full-figured women to be equally attractive as thinner women?
Why not.

22. You've just met someone incredible while out with friends, and (s)he's been kind enough to cough up a phone number. How long would you wait to call?
Whenever I feel like it.

23. Do you think the family of a murder victim should have any say in what punishment is given to the murderer?
No. They are too emotional to give an objective and fair punishment. Do that and you'll have everyone on death row.

24. Would you have a 'Happy Button' installed on your body, connected to your brain, which would instantly make you very happy whenever you pressed it?
Its tempting, but no. I wouldn't appreciate the moments where I am truly satisfied.

25. Would you rather know everything about your mate, or be regularly surprised?
Don't care.

26. We are all human, do you judge someone for a past indiscretion?
It depends on who they are now.

27. What is sexiest on a woman or a man?
I suppose their face?

28. Would you rather have your dream job or your soul mate for the rest of your life?
... damn you.

29. Do you consider yourself sexually open minded?
Not sure what you are referring to. You mean with homosexuality? I think its okay for people to be so. About myself? No.

30. Should your mate also become your best friend?
Definitely.

31. Would you rather marry a virgin or someone experienced?
Who cares. Probably the former. The latter probably has some disease.

32. Have you ever had a true one-night stand?
Ew, no.

33. Have you ever posed as a nude model?
Don't insult me!

34. Would you prefer if good things happened, or interesting things?
Hmm ... that's a tough one. I guess I am okay with either.

35. Is it better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all?
That's another tough one. I honestly can't answer.

Tired, sick and dying.

2008-07-16T11:20:00.000-07:00

Ugh, for the past few days it seems that I am losing my mind. While I am at work my eyes just blur out -- maybe because I am paranoid as of late that I am losing my vision ... When I wake up in the morning I constantly feel fatigued and exhausted! I've had nightmares every single rest I take for the past two and a half week. As you can imagine, its driving my insane! Most of the times, it’s all just meaningless imageries but when I wake up, I feel so nervous and afraid. Christ, what is wrong with me?

Is this something telling me I need to take a withdrawal and relax somewhere?

Lately when I sit alone and think to myself, I have these strange visions that society is one giant factory that churns on people of all "models" and sorts. I feel that it’s controlling where I am going, and what I will do. It seems as if these steel cogs are going to slowly flatten me as I enter into the works.

I feel so frustrated sometimes because none of my western friends really understand me. Ironically, though I always say I hate Asian youths, it seems as if they are the people I can relate to.

For example, when my mom and dad got into a fight, he crushed the cell phone and threw it away. I wanted to pick up his SIM card because I knew he would look for it again in the future, but my mom stopped me and said he had plenty of money. The day after, what do you know, he asked me if I could find it for him. I looked at the disgusting bin in my kitchen and I noticed that it wasn't the same heap of trash ... so I knew what had happened, and I dreaded it. I resigned and slowly walked towards the dump and my doom. The toasty summer weather in the Californian valleys roasted the garbage like a zesty chicken. When I opened the lid contaminated with God-knows-what, a blast of gas attacked my sense of smell. I felt like vomiting, but I tried my best to hold my breath until I sorted through a few bags and picked a few that resembled yesterday's. My grandma later came out to help me after I had laid the bags on the ground.

Even though I had distanced myself from the dump, I could still smell the putrid odor emanating from yesteryear's food.

After sorting for awhile, I asked my grandma if my mom might have salvaged it, she said my mother was way too mad to do that! After a few more minutes of sorting, I gave up and called her. Well, what do you know; she had kept it safely in her room the whole time!

Gees.

Point of the story is, almost none of my friends understand the logic behind why I would go at such lengths to do such a thing.

I suppose I wanted to say: filial piety. Though that only made the conversation more confusing. I didn't feel like going on a sociological rant. Though my thoughts are: My pops works in hard conditions to provide me home, food and an education. Is it really too much to ask out of me to look for something for him?

I guess in this independent and selfish country, it is!

~~~~

Well, I am going to my orientation this weekend. To be honest with you, I always liked Irvine, but for some reason, I feel embarrassed that I am going. Why? Maybe I just anticipated on the brand name colleges so badly and when I was rejected, I suffered some kind of ... mental trauma that I never recovered from. I think what hit me the hardest was what my mom said about how I just ended up in the same place as my brother. Then I thought about all those sleepless nights, constant terror, studying -- all of that, and I suppose feel upset and angry ... thinking I should have had more.

I was rather happy-go-lucky about it until my aunt’s wedding where I had an encounter with some old Asian ladies that asked me what school I was going to, and cackled at my response. Cackled like the sound of objects scratching against a chalk board.

Perhaps one thing that haunts me is how I decided not to apply for University of Chicago ... my dream school. The only thing that was really in my way was fear: fear that I didn't have enough money, fear that it was too far, fear I wouldn't get in ... in retrospect, it seems so petty and irrational. I should have just followed my heart instead of letting paranoia get the best of me.

A story from a friend of mines, Evan Watson.

2008-07-14T22:25:00.001-07:00

I’m sitting on a bench.

This isn’t some melodramatic fictionalized account where the author, sitting cozy in his room tries to lend realism to his story by employing first person voice, or even an actual recollection where the primary source uses present tense deus ex machina to bring the reader into his experiences.

I am sitting on a bench. I should be working.

This summer is my nineteenth, and, trapped in a maelstrom of indecisiveness and desperation, I decided to get as far away from my tiny, flat hometown of Acampo, California as possible by moving to the tiny, amazingly topographic town of Mammoth Lakes, California. I came on less than 72 hours notice for a job mapping the trails around the city , for maintenance and accuracy.

Which is what I should be doing now.

This bench is one of the things I’m mapping.

This is the last trail I have to do on this particular project, and its surveying was delayed by a construction project that’s going on along it. I had to wait until after the crewmen went home for the day to sneak in and pin it down on a map, even as it’s changing.

In addition, my equipment, a hand-held GPS that talks to the stars rather than one of the bulky, tripod-mounted scopes my forbearers used, is suffering from Schrödinger's
malady, an affliction in which I don’t know if it will be working or not working from one second to the next, and I’m trying desperately not to collapse the wave-form. For the past several days—the weekend—the proverbial cat has been emphatically dead, and only today, Monday, did the wave-form mysteriously jump to the opposite alternative.

That’s why I’m out here tonight, after union rules dictate there are no construction workers out on this trail.

The forecast said thunder storms, and I believed it. Yet nothing more than a few drops of rain have fallen as I plotted the cross-country ski signs, benches, and bollards along the trail. The sun is setting under the clouds, making the mountain ranges glow against the black of the storm clouds. A slight breeze numbs my fingers as I type on my used, battered, rugged little notebook, making them stiff and prolonging the time I should be working, but am not.

I knew this bench was special before I reached it. There are rocks arranged around it, and the view is unparalleled. In the foreground are brush covered steppes, giving way to a swelling ridge of conifers and, behind them, the blood-red hulks of the Sherwins stabbing up from the landscape. To the right, the scar-faced hulk of Mammoth Mountain, the bulging pluton of Mammoth Rock, and the jutting precipice of Mammoth ridge, like the spine of the world.

Around the bench, rocks are arranged in a semicircle, like a shrine to some local god.

The bench itself is nothing special; brown rubberized criss-crosses of a metal skeleton, held together by welded pipe and bolts.

The plaque, though, is what really caught my attention, what persuaded me to dig my computer out of my backpack and sit for a while, contemplating the landscape, the texture of the cold air piercing my thin t-shirt, in the hopes that I might never forget, and that others who weren’t here might have some semblance of memory.

There is a name: Christopher Cairo Newton.

I don’t know it. I don’t know who he was, whether he was a fire-fighter, a businessman, or just a tourist.

There’s a quote.

“Take the fresh mountain air deep within your lungs and marvel at one of the most beautiful places in all of California, if not the world!”
I don’t know who said it. Maybe it was Christopher Cairo Newton. Maybe it was someone famous. Maybe it was just the person who paid for the plaque, and the bench.

But that’s not what made me stop. That’s not what’s causing actual tears to slide down my face like the rain that was promised but hasn’t yet come.

There are two dates.

The first is unremarkable: 9/23/62. 53 years, 10 months and 13 days ago.

The second:

9/11/01

Page: 616

See you on the other side of the Moon, Space Rocker.

A lost trade.

2008-07-14T11:47:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time since I actually attempted to draw something ... well, I finally picked up the pencil and began. I became so frustrated trying to ink things in onto a computer, though. My style is so sketchy. I guess I'll have to start with something more basic and then move my way up.

See you on the other side of the Moon, Space Rocker.

Another survey.

2008-07-13T16:55:00.001-07:00

20 questions about you and your lover

You and your lover...♥
When did you guys start dating?
Hmm ... I'd say about a year and a half ago.

How long have you been dating for?
Erm, a year and a half ago?

How did you meet?
I remember I was reading a psychology textbook's glossary and there was a word called "penis envy" - I thought it was so funny, I felt the need to share my discovery with the closest classmate, who happened to by Charley.

Do you love him/her?
See the title of the survey.

Do you want to spend the rest of your life with that person?
Ideally.

Does he/she make you feel like you are something?
Heh ... sometimes. (my eyes ... they are rolling)

Does he/she make you laugh and happy?
Yep.

Have you kissed?
Yeah.

Do you like being with that person?
Sure.

Would you cry if he had to go far away forever?
Not publically.

Do you like that person for looks or personality?
Personality. Looks? HA.

Would he/she die for you?
I dunno!

Would you die and for him/her?
I guess I would only know if the time ever came.

Does your lover make you smile?
Sometimes. Other times he makes me scream.

Does he/she support you in everything you do?
Hmm, I suppose so.

Does he/she try to be there everytime you need them?
Eh ... keyword is try.

Are you always constantly thinking about the person you love?
Yeah, sometimes for not so good reasons. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, YOU FAT FAGGOT?"

Do you dream about him/her?
I 'spose.

Do you want to spend the rest of your life with that person and raise a family?
I 'spose.

Do you love her/him with all your heart and soul?
I 'spose.

http://www.pimpsurveys.com/view-survey.php?id=13328

Survey! Har.

2008-07-08T11:46:00.000-07:00

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
My face and then my hair.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Nothing in particular.

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Why not!

4.Do you plan outfits?
Nope. I'll grab whatever works without any consideration of looks.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Dazed. My right eye also feels uncomfortable.

6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red?
A Sanford pencil.

7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?
Aim.

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?

Ohh man it as weird. I was in some secret base by an organization that had the files of all the former marines encased in colorful cases. They pulled out my case (apparently I was in the Marines ...) and it was purple. I got mad and asked them, "WHAT? Why isn't it green?" And they told me to shut up and sit down. So I did and they began to ask me all of these weird questions about my moralities and personality. I was afraid they were going to sell me or do something crazy. Before they were done questioning me, I woke up.

9. Did you meet anybody new today?
A passerby ...

10. What are you craving right now?
Sushi.

11. Do you floss?
Of course.

12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Vegetable.

13. When was the last time you talked on aim?
Yesterday night.

14. Are you emotional?
Not particularly. Sometimes I do get upset, but normally I'd rather be detached.

15. Would you dance to the taco song?
The wha-?

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Nope.

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
A combination of both.

18. Do you like your hair?
Nope. It feels greasy right now because I used too much conditioner.

19. Do you like yourself?
Not really.

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Nope.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Never tried it.
22. What are you listening to right now?
The clicking sound of this keyboard.

23. How many countries have you visited?
Two ...

24. Are your parents strict?
Sometimes.

25. Would you go sky diving?
Let the wind take me away!

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Sure. Maybe a Double Double.

27. Would you throw potatoes at him?
No way!Ilove In and Out fries too much.

28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
Nope.

29. Have you ever been in a castle?
Yep. Hearst Castle down in SoCal.It was gorgeous.

30. Do you rent movies often?
Never.
31. Who sits in behind you in your math class?
I think the last math class I took ... it was Mandy/Stephanie.

32. Have you made a prank phone call?
Hahah ...Yeah.

33. Do you own a gun?
Nope.

34. Can you count backwards from 74?
Sure.

35. Who are you going to be with tonight?
Some friends from my old high school. (wow I feel old!)

36. Brown or white eggs?
Never had any brown eggs, but I guess white eggs satisfy me.

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic?
Nope.
38. Ever been on a train?
Yep.

39. Ever been in love?
What a great feeling.

40. Do you have a cell-phone?
Yep.

41. Are you too forgiving?
Unfortunately yes...

42. Do you use chap stick?
Yeah.

43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
One ... probably in class, the other ... probably sleeping.

44. Can you use chop sticks?
Yep. That's almost all I ever use.

45. Ever have cream puffs?
Mm .... half a cream puff. It didn't take me long to figure out I didn't like 'em.

46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
I've heard of it.

47. What was the last question you asked?
"Did I tell you that yesterday?"

48. What was the last CD you bought?
I never bought a CD in my whole life. :)

49. Boys or girls?
Who cares. Its just a genital or two that's really different.

50. What is your bus number for school?
I never rode a school bus. I car pooled/walked.

51. Is your hair curly?
Haha. Nope. Its straighter than a super Christian conservative.

52. Last time you cried?
A few days ago.

53. Ever walked into a wall?
Oh more than you can imagine.

54. Do looks matter?
Who cares, its only a bunch of fiber in ze end.

55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun?
Nope.

56. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes. It felt great!

57. Favorite time of the year?
WINTER. FALL. EARLY SPRING.

58. Favorite color?
Brown, Green, white and Blue. Earth colors ... I like it!

59. Are you sarcastic?
NOO.

60. Do you have any tattoos?
Nope.I find them disgusting.

61. The last person you held hands with?
Budgie.

62. Do you sleep with the TV on?
Nope. I sleep with the radio on, though. So I guess that can count.

63. Where was your default picture taken at?
My room.

64. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Mm ... I think all of the tension has wafted away with the wind.

65. Do you like your life right now?
Its alright. I kind of wish for some change soon, though.

66. How often do you talk on the phone?
Fairly often, but in short bouts.

67. What is your favorite animal?
Dog, wolf and hawk.

68. What was the most recent thing you bought?
A shirt that was on sale.

69. Do you have good vision?
Iuse to, but it seems to be declining lately ... maybe its because I am so paranoid that my computer usage is catching up to me.

70. Can you hula hoop?
Ya.

71. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Nope.

72. Do you have a job?
Two, to be precise.

73. Can you handle the truth?
The truth is my lover.

74. What are you wearing?
Fabric?

75. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yep.

Groan.

2008-07-07T21:05:00.001-07:00

So its another burning hot day.

For some reason, as of late, I feel that I am missing something. What that sometime is, I don't know, but I hope its over soon.

I always get these strange "phantom phone vibrations." I think its because I am always waiting for someone, somebody to call me. I hate that feeling - the feeling that I am depending on someone to verify that I exist and that I am a person.

Maybe what I need is a long break.

See you on the other side of the Moon, Space Rocker.

Graduation

2008-06-02T10:19:00.000-07:00

Graduation was a mess for me. I did not enjoy that day at all, in fact, most of it ended in tears thanks to a certain fatty. I left my purse in his car and he told me that he could take me home, and he couldn't take me home ... What the hell? So I stranded without a ride, then he finally was able to get me home. There is a lot behind this story that I do not feel like divulging on this blog only because I am just too lazy to type it out and think about it again. Maybe things will heal up with time.

On the college business, I was able to sign up for housing already and my official roomie (assuming things will go well) is Stephanie. Yeah, we are going to fill up our dorm with shrooms.

However, I am still adamant about trying to get into UC Berkeley and UCLA, still. Though there is one thing troubling me, for some odd reason, my parents hate Berkeley. They say that the school is just weird and that UCLA is more famous and superior. I always thought that it was Berkeley that was famous ... not UCLA, but academically, in my opinion, they are one par with each other. I just like Berkeley slightly more because of its nice, cool weather, as opposed to the heat of SoCal. Plus, I can get around the Bay Area so much easier without a car! However, if you were to ask me how I feel ... the school I still truly and dearly want to go to was University of Chicago. Should I try and reapply for that school?

I cannot explain why I love that school, I just do. The atmosphere and the quirkiness is so me! Its as strange and odd as Berkeley, but they aren't snobs about it. However, there are a few concerns that I have. Mainly tuition. First off, I will lose my CalGrant because it is not an instate school (no crap!) and to top that, I will get charged even more! Argh. Nonetheless, its such a petty reason for denying myself a great school.

I think its bullshit when people say a degree is a degree no matter where you get it. Well, no shit it is, but its not just the piece of paper that is important and so pivotal to college, its the essence of who you are and who you become. For some people, maybe the place that will develop them the most is a CSU, but for me, I think that place would either have to be somewhere far away or something great! I don't know, maybe I am getting a little too head of myself. So what are my final, final summer plans?

Review Math - a one year hiatus is far too much for a person who will be using math for the next few years. To be honest with you, my mathematics was never too strong in the first place. I will probably have to review all the way back into Pre-Calculus.
Complete Scholarships - if I still want to go to University of Chicago, I really have to do these suckers and try to win them. Even if I don't go to the school of my dreams, these will be useful nonetheless.
Go to a Career Center - Yes, I am going to a career center and I will take those personal tests. It sounds pretty lame, but my aunt insists of me doing so. She said that had she done it her freshman year of college, she would have saved so much time. I guess I'll take on her offer and try it out for myself and see what weird, wacky result I'll get. I hope I won't get English high school teacher. [/cough]
Complete transfer application Yeah, I still have not given up! I recently got word back from UCLA on why they rejected me, thanks to Muckenfuss. Apparently, I did not have enough extra-curriculars my freshman year and also they wanted to see all of my college grades. What the hell? Well, I think I will have an easier time trying to get in as a transfer.
Work on Night Shift Noble If this shit doesn't get done by the end of this summer, I'll never get any time to because one college hits in, I'll be so damn busy I might not even be online nearly as often as I am now. Sigh.
Read In the past four years at MCHS, I've been so bogged down with paperwork, I never had a chance to actually explore and read the things that I wanted to. I think I suffered on multiple aspects as a result. My spirit as a "creative writer" died (I don't think I can revive it now), I lost vocabulary and eloquence, and I missed out on some great ideas! Well, this is the time to make up for it.
Get a second job Working at the Professional Development Center is just not enough. I am going to try and work at the computer lab in the afternoon.
Volunteer at school I might become a reader for the Anthropology teachers. Though I know for sure I am going to be helping Miss Solari out in Budd105 for a week or so.

That's the only thing I can think of right now, there are tons and tons more to do, but I'll get around to it some day.

Hum. So finals are over.

2008-05-23T11:00:00.001-07:00

So I completed my last final around 9:04 AM today. As I left the class, I didn't really think much. Even when I was in Locke Lounge for an hour .... for the first time in months. Then when I sat in work, I just realized how "innate" work as become for me. If I am not doing something or working, I just go insane. I no longer know how to realize and kick back sometimes. I get so irritated when I am not doing something. That makes me wonder how things are going to play out for me in the summer. Luckily I took some classes and I am also going to work to kill some time. I have a lot of plans, though. Plans and things to do for my own benefit, for once. Anyone interested? Well, lookie here.

Review Math I want to review some of the mathematic skills I have lost over the year of ... mathlessness. I am going to use the DemiDec goods that I stole from that one school to assist me in my epic quest.

Practice Art If there is anything that I neglected for the past few years, it would be art. Sure, I got a lot of practice with graphic arts and programs, but I really miss ol' pen and paper.

Continue making my game Yeah, I need to finish the game. I need a writer or something ... sigh.

Get more money Yeah.

I have a lot more, but I cannot remember it for the time being. God, I just cannot imagine myself doing nothing for three whole months. Though I really should rest and relax and enjoy my last summer off, anyone who knows me ... well, knows me. I cannot just sit and idle around for that long without wanting to break something or chew someone out.

On a side note, my birthday is coming up in a month and I would like to have a celebration for once. I haven't had any real one for years and years. However, I do not want a party, per se. Why? Well, I hate parties. Its always so loud and boisterous. A cacophony of voices! Argh. Plus, I am an awful entertainer. I just don't care for things that most parties feature and I do not want it at all! I'd rather have a quiet luncheon, to be honest with you. So, hm, what do I want for my birthday? Jeez. The list can go on and on.

- Laser printer
- Tablet
- A green computer mouse
- A cute green backpack
- Office supply/gift card for office supply
- Stationary
- Lots of stamps

Man, I am so selfish. These shits are expensive!

See you on the other side of the Moon, Space Rocker.

2008-05-17T16:51:00.000-07:00

Its been enarly two months since I have last blogged ... I guess so much as happened, I didn't really know how to address it. Yes, I have been rejected from my top colleges, and I have appealed--only to be rejected a second time. I don't know what happened, what I didn't wrong ... I guess I can never find any real explanation for it.

Well, that news is several weeks old. So many things have happened since then, maybe I should recap it a little bit.

- Rejected from schools.
- Appealed, rejected again.
- AcaDec banquet was a bit of a drag. The argument I had with Mr. Kennedy was completely unnecessary as the extra guests that were suppose to arrive and perform failed to show up anyways.
- Charley comes up with the idea of The Inferno, and he fails to follow up on it and gives it to me to handle now. I am a bit overwhelmed by it because I do not have anyone's help, as they are all too jittery out there to do anything.
- I am working on our play's program. Thank god for Nicole Rallens for coming up with a decent title--"Geek Drama and Osama."
- I thought that the Junior play was fairly good, except for the first segment which suffered from a lack of ... polishment, assuming that is even a word.
- I finally got off of my arse and decided that the only way for me to focus on a book was to use an accompaning audiobook. Yeah, its a little sad, but it is also a solution, right?
- The heat is incredible. Its 105 degrees and its only May. What is the reason for this blasphemy? God, I hate the summer.
- I finished my senior project in time ... only to have Mrs. Langone take her sweet time signing my forms. I thought that three days was good enough for her, but it took her weeks to do it! My god I thought I was going to fail high school.
- Charley had a pretty piss-poor grade for Sign Language, a vital class, and dropped it. So I log onto his linguistics class and I see a big fat 30 points out of 1200 on his gradebook. Blown away, he drops that too. And now he has threatened himself from getting into Berkeley.
- I realize that my love for Charley is dwindling so fast, I really wonder if we will last outside of MCHS sometimes ... I never thought I would have to come to that question.

Times are troubling! I don't know what I want to do anymore. I don't know what he wants anymore.

Dump

2008-03-16T01:18:00.001-07:00

Today was fairly interesting. I got so tired the night before I slept until 10 AM, which is rather unheard of for me. I sluggishly got off of my bed and got ready to depart to Charley’s house with Josh Osburn to check out how ghetto the Cambodian duplex was. I never really had a chance to explore it, but I found the lot quite charming, it just wasn’t decorated or taken care of properly … Its such a shame! The land is huge and it would be worth quite a lot had the neighborhood and homes been cleaner.

After exploring the house with Josh and Charley, we encountered the largest chicken I ever saw. After Josh took a few snapshots of it, we ran away before the bird would attack us. Once that was over with, we helped load a lot of junk into Charley’s mom’s truck and drove to the dump in downtown where we unloaded the junk into this huge pit in the middle of a garage-like room. In the bit were convicts/workers that were managing and clearing things away a guy riding a huge tractor. I tossed a smelly queen-sized mattress down into the pit, yet it still leaned against the wall of the pit. I was annoyed and tried to kick it but I missed and my shoe went flying into the trash. A group of gruff men chuckled and returned to me my shoes. Well, to say the least, I was lucky!

2008-03-16T00:25:00.001-07:00

Hm. I've been having so many failed attempts at traveling lately! Maybe I am just desperate in my quest to leave this hell hole. First off, I tried to go to Irvine, but that flopped due to time constraints ... then things got a little more wilder with my imagination. I started thinking about Big Sur - but I couldn't go because it was a multi day trip without adult supervision. I guess my mom didn't trust me being along with Cheavaraman. Well, that is all fine and dandy, but I had one last resort: Yosemite. Well ... I don't want to say that, considering it is such a beautiful place. Yet there was one problem: Snow. Yeah.

Well, last but not least, I decided to go to Davis. Surely, its nothing like the metropolis San Francisco, but it is a peaceful place to be. I want to relax for a few days before I work myself to death again.

When I think about it, I only have a few months to be a child. After this summer, I'll be thrown out into my own world where I'll fend for myself. Its such a scary thought, but somewhat exciting at the same time.

On a side note, I've received notice from UC Davis and UC Irvine! I got into both schools. :) Well, its a good thing I suppose ... but I am still waiting for my top schools to respond. My mom seems confident I'll make it, but I am uncertain.

Jasmine finally responded to my message on DA. For a moment there, I thought she lost her internet connection, or, a she puts it, "Dissapeared off the face of the Earth." Luckily she is living life well and there is nothing going on.

That concludes my broadcast for today!

See y'all on the other side of the moon.

Break?

2008-03-05T23:10:00.000-08:00

Sigh ... I don't know why, or where this irrational emotion is coming from, but I feel so useless all of a sudden. I hope I can find a sign, a way out or anything to get out of this tar pit! Its not pleasant down here. It doesn't help when I have all these shoes on my head pressing me down. I am blessed to have a few people who would reach down into that muck and try to pull me out, but I do not know if its enough ... Maybe I just need a prolonged break.

old man...

2008-03-04T09:50:00.000-08:00

Sigh. Yesterday was a good day ... in some ways. Well, in the morning my English 1D professor moved the essay to be due on Monday. Phew. Then my Anthropology teacher, to accomodate for the fact that the projector system was completely removed, decided to move the exam to Monday! Hurrah! Less stress -- until the weekends hit, that is. I later went to my PE class to see that it was cancelled as well, so I ended up spending the hour having intellectual conversations with Charlie and Josh.

I'd say the day was going smooth until Academic Decathlon. That man sends up his croonies to announce his ideas and ends up greatly upsetting Stephanie, who proceeded to write messages on the wall, a hate letter and who knows what. Though I did agree with Stephanie because I felt that the man has overstepped his authority and know acts like he owns the place. At the same time, I think its because no one else is asserting their authority to do anything about it in the first place. I became so frustrated and stayed after class to talk to Mr. Kennedy about it, but I just realized that the man has no idea what he is doing and failed to understand my point. I am so angry - he acts as if I have done nothing all semester, despite of the fact that everyone knows that isn't true.

However, this issue brought forth the realization that no matter how hard I may try to get him to see things in my perspective -- a PRACTICAL and LOGICAL manner -- it is useless. He's enchanted by the witch. Though ... its because the only person who had talked to him most of the time is her. There really isn't a point to try and fight what that man proposes now. The best option is to run with what there is and see how it goes, but more importantly, a concrete system needs to be developed. I'll try my best to be a mediator and bring leaders up in front of the class so they can announce their ideas, but I hope that they will care enough to do it ... That's one fear I always had.

I agree, this is all so pointless, dramatized and out of whack. I think its ridiculous we have to do to such measures to make the class FUNCTION. For this, I blame only one person. Yet again, there is no point in complaining because no matter how many times I cry, the things that go on around me won't stop for me.

On the home front ... my dad seriously injured his knee. He's been moaning and groaning as he treads around the house very slowly on crutches. Autorepair is a difficult job to stomach - especially in the hot summers. I fear that my dependancy on them is running short. My brother had it easy beign able to rely on my parents for so long. Due to the fact that I am the youngest, I have much more responsibility. I also think that my life has been much for "free" as a result. To be honest, I really like this freedom - being free to fail or succeed. I think in this society we've become way too comfortable. We've set up safety nets over the next, making people so dependant. There are a lot of policies that I disagree with such as universal health care because I think people should be able to take care of themselves for the most part. I don't mind if the margin where people are considered poor is bumped up, but the everyday man should be able to fend off for himself without the government babysitting him. Jesus. Things like that irritate me so much - like mothers wanting to ban videogames. Well, how about you take care of your own damn kid and make sure he or she doesn't bring home a rated M game? Its not that hard to enforce a little supervision on your child, you know! But people are so stupid, illogical and thick.

Sounds like some other old man that I know.

Ugh, I've been feeling so dizzy lately. After I had that argument with that old man ... I felt so shaky and mad. I should relax somehow or the other before I go insane one of these days.

You Make It Easy ...

2008-02-10T01:47:00.001-08:00

Its so ironic that I am sitting here at this late hour working away ... while listening to the song, "You Make it Easy," by AIR.

You make it easy to watch the world with love
You make it easy to let the past be done
You make it easy

Sometimes I wish this was the case. To just watch the world with no other care in the world -- to not be bogged down by this massive amounts of paperwork and people. Though I am alway s having such a difficult time doing that because my priorities has always and always selflessly lied with the product. That is all I care about ... an objective view of how "qualified" the product is. Never much for what I got out of it.

As a result, I've become a bit too over bearing.

I can't even summon the mathematical prowess in my brain to calculate the average hour of sleep I've had, but based off of vague memories, I'd assert three hours. Three hours of rest per night; three hours I can call my own, and only my own.

Today, my friend, Cheavaraman, did not do his supplements for college, I was enraged at his response: "I am tired."

I kept on calling him and harassing him that the due date was only within a few hours, but I was just threatening him, not worrying about my own fate. Finally, I demanded his password so I'll "fill out the fucking forms you should have." He willingly (though I honestly was aiming for him to say, "Okay love, I'll do it.") handed it over to me. Needless to say ... I did not make it in time to submit his ... or mines. When I realized this - that I put my college admissions in jeopardy to wait for some lazy fatass, I just lost my sanity for a good few minutes. Calling and screaming at him why would he not do it -- nothing would have happened if he just got off of his bed for a minute and would do his work.

But I cannot blame it all on him - I've become distracted ... and disoriented as well. The main difference between him and I, is that for the sake of my responsbilities and work, I would be willing to sacrifice my flesh and work to the death. Its my principle in life, and its become one that I am extremely proud of. Sometimes ... it feels that I work so hard just so I could find something I could be privately proud of. Regardless of how I downplay myself publically, deep down, I do feel a surge of pride.

To an outsider, it seems so strange how I react to Charlie's boughts of laziness. Sometimes, I'll "punish" myself by working even harder and more. Staying up to ridiculously late hours to work and work, just so I could show him -- that I can work myself nearly to death, but not quite there, and still live comfortably, and, more importantly, be able to move on and do what needs to be done. However, no matter what absurb thing I do, or how much of it I do, it only makes a fleeting impression. I cannot change his character and his organization -- I can't change that because its who he is, and I sometimes just cannot accept it for how it is.

Mentally, I can, but physically, I cannot. I cannot help but bring so much pressure on me to sometimes upsurp the things he does because I am not satisfied with it. At the end of the day, he'll say, "I never told you to do it."

I am a person of principles, if I say I will do something, I'll pursue it like a mad hound to the end. Cheavaraman, Charlie, whatever name he wants, cannot do that. He cannot put aside his precious time or whatever just to go onward and finish something. Maybe he isn't capable of it, maybe he doesn't care enough, maybe he wants to piss me off, or maybe ... I just care to much.

Maybe I should just ignore him and let him do what he wants, maybe I should just never talk to him, maybe I should never even look at him. Maybes, maybes, maybes.

I always ask myself these maybes -- perhaps I could find someone who'd care for me better, perhaps I could find someone more talented -- but the thought always goes back to this fat bum who's belly dictates the beloved.

If he was to ever ask me why I love him, I'd response, "Because I have no control over my heart ... sometimes I wish I did."

Whoa. Long time no see, Space Cowboy.

2008-02-03T16:32:00.000-08:00

Man, its been way too long since I last posted here. I feel a little bad for not being more consistant. Anyways, a lot of things has happened over the past few weeks: the good, the bad and the ugly.

I hope I can get the opportunity to return and post some more as soon as I get home. I was using Charlie's computer for a little bit to do some work. I always have a problem with the keyboard back at home because it doesn't type very well as a laptop. Laptops have these really ... smooth keyboards that I've become use to over the past few months of regularly utilizing it.

Fortunately, I ordered a brand new spanking Dell from their annual sale. 250 GIG Hard drive space, 2 GIG ram, webcam and a beautifully customized color: green (yes, I know some of you are suprised that it wasn't brown or anything. My mom refused to let me get it).

I'll talk more about my life in depth ... but for not, I'll be departing to the other world.

Anticipation. Cooperation. Decapitation.

2008-01-27T23:14:00.001-08:00

Well. I think my inactivity has ensured me that no one is reading this blog anymore.

So how is it going? Its been quite a number of weeks. I've been working rather hard on a variety of projects, one of them being The Artifact which I've worked extremely hard one for ... a good one and a half days. Though hey, I think it turned out quite awesome. There is a lot more I have waiting in store for it after Academic Decathlon is over this week ... yeah, as you can tell, I am pretty bent on thinking we aren't going to land first place this year again.

Well, what can I say? Its a team effort, not a matter of an individual. Even if we had three people gain perfect scores ... As long as the rest of the team slacks off, its useless. Though I suppose I would be quite hypocritical in saying this because I feel that I have not given AcaDec my all. Though its so difficult to not get affected by the general complacency.

Speech went terrible for me - at least impromptu. I had some very boring judges. I couldn't tell what they were thinking, and that greatly bothered me to an extreme. I think interview went alright, I guess I'll have to see how I did. Ugh, the anticipation is stifling.

The hell?

2008-01-13T18:56:00.000-08:00

Today is such a confusing day.

So this whole mess about whether or not something is an A Day or a B Day was one thing, then I figured that tomorrow is an A Day, and I'll pack for that. I was telling Rose, for the brief time I talked to her since that fiasco in San Francisco, about the confusion, and I was on a phone conference with some other people about this and she starts yelling at me, "What?! Why do I always get left out of everything? Blah, blah, blah." I thought, "... the hell dude? Its a three-way phone conversation that just incidentally occurred. Why would we just randomly call you?" Then I told her I have to go because I need to pack since I have class early tomorrow morning, she says, "Stop acting like you are the victim for everything! " I finally came to the resolution to block that her ass.

Plans

2008-01-12T11:58:00.000-08:00

Reading on Mary's entry about plans made me think. While I do have concrete plans, I've never really written anything out to see for myself.

My parents have some fairly physically strenuous jobs ... In a few years, its about the time where they need to retire. They can't keep on going on, especially my dad because he is an automechanic. So its up to me to speed up on my school (which I've tried to the best of my ability). I estimated that I won't finish school until seven to eight more years.

Since I've completed all the pre-requisites for my major, I can expect three to two years in college. My major itself won't take too long, but I have to take all of the pre-medical courses.

After those two or three years, I might take a semester or two off so I can study for the MCATs and take it. Though I might just lump those into my University years. Once I have completed that, I HOPE (keyword: hope) I can get into a medical school here, rather than having to go to the Carribean like some people with low GPAs/scores - -.

That said, medical school usually takes four years, but there is a possibility I might stay there for five if I choose to specialize in Neuroscience.

Sigh.

2008-01-08T23:22:00.000-08:00

My mom and dad argued again tonight, as they usually do. It just feels so hopeless at times, I suppose.

My mom sat on my bed for awhile and then went out to the kitchen where she just stared blankly into the distance. I sat there and rambled on and on about the caucuses or how much I hated the woman, Clinton. She just continued staring and, with much fatigue in her eyes, comment occasionally.

So now I find myself sitting here and reflecting back on some thoughts that I dare not tell anyone else other than the non-existent audience reading this blog. In some ways, I kinda like it. At least I can rest assure that its not being BROADCASTED, per se. Those who care or remember can visit here and read if they choose. And, thus far, the only people I've shared it to are the people I cared about. Huh ... does it mean that the feeling isn't reciprocated? Whatever, it doesn't matter if they don't care or not, as long as I have a place to contain my thoughts so my brain doesn't explode.

That aside -- I have a confession I'd like to make.

During this entire break, I've felt ... somewhat down. I cannot pin it. After we returned from San Francisco, all I've done is sat in my room and played games I've downloaded from the internet. Games like Final Fantasy VII and VIII ... I haven't even touched them since I was a little kid. Ah, the good memories. At that time, I didn't have to worry at all. Even though my parents would still argue, and their fights were much more violent then, who cared. We had a lot of people living at the house and they comforted me.

Now, I live in this giant place, and there are hardly any inhabitants. Thus, I spend all of my time dead. Yes, dead. Why? I am not alive right now, at least I don't feel like it. All I am doing is reflecting in the past. As I play the game, it feels like I am eight or seven or ten again. I don't have to worry about the outside world and what they think of me. As if I gave two shits what they think of me. Its not as if anyone notices in the first place.

Being alive again, for a brief moment, and returning to the present. Stephanie asked me today if I wanted to go to China, I was surprised she'd ask that, at first I was a bit hopeful. Oddly enough, a magazine I had subscribed to (and had not heard from for months) finally arrived today: National Geographic Traveler. Interestingly enough, they were doing a special on China.

I was elated! I thought this was a god-given (even though I am atheist) sign that I can finally have an adventure and go somewhere far away and do something and learn something! Later this night, my mom dug through the rest of our letters and annouced to me (being the only other sober person in the house) that the government demands taxes for the home for the next four years. I didn't even propose the idea, I just kept quiet to myself, and sympathized. Knowing my dreams were crushed.

The economy is so bad. I, myself, have to work jobs. I need to save my money for education ... yeah. Regardless of what happens, I can't lose sight of that.

Cheavaraman has been in a bad mood today, it seems. Maybe Cheavaraman is lost in thought because his mother is bringing people over from other countries for a bit of money to survive on. In some ways, I feel so angry at Cheavaraman for being so single-minded, but I can't blame that person. They have a hard life.

Myself? I suppose I live a relatively comfortable suburban life ... yet I just feel so much discontent. Like all those moments where Rose made me so angry. It was strange. It felt that there was someone using a paddle to beat my brain. I could practically feel the chemicals in my brain swishing and swirling -- giving me a strange sense of rage that I am almost afraid of.

Jesus, I am going off topic. I'm rambling again. I think too much sometimes. Whatever.

So I basically spent my entire day playing games and reorganizing the post cards on my wall.

Everything I have nowadays is travel themed ... even the checks I have. I suppose its the most comforting thing for me -- just to have something remind me of the fun times I had away from this dead end suburb filled with dead-end people.

After spending a bit of time away from this wall of text, maybe its because I never express my feelings, so people never know. I let every sit and rot in a cauldron. Sometimes I leave bad memories there for years and years until it finally starts igniting from all the creatures that grows on it and boils. Then I start to spout out what seems like non-sequiturs. Well, what can I do? Would anyone give two shits if I said anything? That's why I hate it when people assign me leadership roles. I'd rather just take orders ... of course, then I'd be thinking in my head how terrible the administration is ... this and that.

I may be a problem child.

Funny convo

2008-01-05T02:38:00.001-08:00

(2:34:29 AM) Comrade KYL: what are you doing up so late mister?
(2:34:40 AM) Mr Fun Mystery: I could ask you the same question, missy!
(2:34:48 AM) Comrade KYL: i am doing homework sir
(2:34:59 AM) Mr Fun Mystery: I am...making a CD
(2:35:01 AM) Mr Fun Mystery: then I will watch porn
(2:35:04 AM) Mr Fun Mystery: then go to sleep
(2:35:06 AM) Comrade KYL: oh ok
(2:35:12 AM) Mr Fun Mystery: but this should take a while
(2:35:21 AM) Mr Fun Mystery: what homework are you doing?
(2:35:28 AM) Comrade KYL: Epidemeology.
(2:35:40 AM) Mr Fun Mystery: whoosh
(2:36:19 AM) Mr Fun Mystery: that is?
(2:36:52 AM) Comrade KYL: study of diseases
(2:36:57 AM) Mr Fun Mystery: ah
(2:37:01 AM) Mr Fun Mystery: how's that going
(2:37:15 AM) Comrade KYL: Its pretty morbid, disgusting and disturbing
(2:37:16 AM) Comrade KYL: I like it!
(2:37:25 AM) Mr Fun Mystery: that's the Xenos I know!

hump hum hum san francisco

2008-01-05T02:32:00.000-08:00

I bet you all have been wondering where I have been for the past few days. Yeah, I am being lazy so I didn't update as scheduled, and I apologize for that. Right now, I am typing with my eyes closed and while I enjoy some beautiful space rock. So excuse any typoes. I am not seeing anything but the blackness of my eyelids. I am relying all on muscle memory to send you this message.

New Years was a mix between wonderful and awful. During the trip to San Francisco (where I remained for three days and two nights), I felt like someone's punching bag. I don't feel like divulging into the details of something so distasteful, so I am going to skip that. The best moment of the day, by far, was when I stood on top of this hill in San Francisco with Cheavarman and watched the explosions in the sky from away. We had some cider and we toasted to the new year coming. I paused then as I felt so awed ... 2008. years ago, when I was a freshmen entering high school, it felt so far away. And now it is here. I have half a year left to enjoy what childhood I had left. Though what childhood do I have? Or had, even.

Some people told me that I would regret working my life away, sometimes I do too ... but even if I went sent back in time I would still choose the same rigid path. Even if I was sent again the third time, I would choose the same path. That is just the way I am. I cannot change it and I won't really change it. Though people tend to shoot me strange looks about my antics, they can go have gay sex with themselves for all I care.

Wow, how did I get so far off the original topic? Uhh ... returning to the hill. It was marvelous. Only a native San Franciscan would know of it. I felt rather angry at myself because I didn't bring a camera with me, but even then, I doubt I could catch the splendor.

I went home that night and fell asleep around 2 AM. The next morning I woke up and took the bus all the way down Mission Street to the Metreon where I watched Sweeney Todd. It was a decent movie, I suppose. But the day after when I returned home and watched the original musical version, I was blown away. Then I was left to wonder whether or not the casts from the movie version was choosen because they had good looks and fame or whether or not they can actually SING! I think the answer is pretty obvious ... unfortunately.

Watching the movie was quite odd because the sound went out for a good five minutes and more than three-fourths of the audience left. After it was over, I recieved a free movie pass as a courtesy/apology. I wondered what I could possibly do with it considering I might not go up to San Francisco for a good while ... especially to watch a movie.

My party and I wandered around the streets for awhile. It was rather silent that day, which was rather strange. There were cars and the mutterings of people, but it just felt rather quiet to me. Then all of a sudden I heard a saxophone go off -- it was such a beautiful sound and it felt so lonely. Just like the streets of San Francisco. Unfortunately, I was too carried away listening to the beauty of the melody to that point where I completely forgt to give the guy some money. I later ran across another hobo who played the trumpet with the same level of skill, and I made sure to spare him some of the meager amount of money I had. I later came across a few drugged up hookers and hobos which I ignored completely. Cheavaraman noticed this and laughed, "Only if they play a musical instrument, huh?"

I ran into some more frustration later with someone, but again, ignore that. I don't need those memories floating in my head and making me more angry. Josh, Cheavaraman and I sat down on the first floor of my aunt's house and we watched an interesting programme called The 4400 -- which led into a gamut of interesting conversations from "Whether or not you would smother you baby to save yourself and many others from a dangerous situation" to something about how cheese decomposes. It was a pleasant night. Unfortunately, Cheavaraman's snoring bothered someone upstairs, so he was forced to sleep on the first floor with me.

It was quite comfortable to having Cheavaraman holding my hand and caressing my face as I slipped in and out of conciousness and eventually into the dream world. It suddenly brought up the thought of if I ever die, no way would be more peaceful than so.

So I returned home using the BART to get to Dublin. Mrs. Blackford drove us home the rest of the way and I returned to my domain ... where I became distracted with ePSXe, a PS1 emulator, for a good two days. Now everything has settled down, and I can truly focus on AcaDec.

Though lately I've become more and more irate concerning the obsession with people and politics in that class. I wish they'd divert their attention to the politics of the caucus instead -- or even more so to the--GASP--AcaDec material (that excludes fucking speech).

As fifteen minutes ago, before I opened NotePad and began to type this epic entry, I was reading about Music ... my weakness and fear. :(

Sigh ... I should head off to bed soon. Its rather late. I'll update with some photos later when its not 2:31 AM. Or whatever time this entry shows up as.

Hazed, Dazed and Confused.

2007-12-31T00:29:00.001-08:00

Its nearing 1 AM. I suppose to be up tomorrow at 5 AM. What am I doing here? I am finish my science section. Before I go to sleep, I'd like to note that I am feeling a little woozy. Not tired ... just woozy. Its weird. Its a mildly elating feeling - everything is so blurry to me. No photography and make any sense out of it. I wrote Robert Koch's name in my notes: Robert Cock. What's worse is that when I was reading about streptoccal infection being a "flesh - eating disease" my stomach growled. I hope I am not turning into an Ed Geins from the madness of sleep deprivation.

Survey goodness!

2007-12-29T02:36:00.001-08:00

*Survey of my Life*
So Basically..
Name::	You all should know.
Nicknames::	KY/Veiraza/Xenos/YDS
Age::	17, but I feel as though I am 160 years old.
Birth Date::	June 21st; the first day of summer, the longest day of the year. Ironically I hate summer.
Hair Color::	Jet black.
Eye Color::	Brown.
Height::	I wish I was seven feet. Just a little bit more ...
Piercings::	I use to have some on the ears (the only place where I'd approve of piercings).
Tatoos::	Disgusting.
Heritage::	I dream of the Middle East.
Best..
Food::	Vietnamese, Japanese, Chinese and Italian cuisine.
Drink::	Ice cold water, 7Up soda, apple juice/cider and grape juice.
Time of Day::	Dawn.
Season::	Winter. Other seasons I like is mid-Fall and early Spring.
Day of the Week::	Hm ... that is a tough one. I'd like to say Friday or Saturday.
Color::	Green, brown and blue. Unusual, huh?
Place in U.S::	Yosemite, Big Sur, Maine, Rocky Mountain and Glaciers National Park.
Place outside U.S::	Hmm ... Quite a few to name off.
Magazine::	National Geographics.
Pet::	Dogs.
Friend::	Cheavaraman.
Feeling:	Elated and inspired.
Do You..
Shower Daily::	Of course,
Brush your Teeth Daily::	Definitely.
Sing::	If no one is looking.
Dance::	If no one is watching.
Drink::	A few sips of sake.
Smoke::	Gross.
Read Books::	Yes. Its an essential part of life.
Read Magazines::	I enjoy reading a few magazines like NationaG or Newsweek.
Have a Religion::	No.
Have a Bf/Gf::	Cough.
Play an Instrument::	I use to play the violin until my hearing became progressively worse.
In the Opposite Sex..
Hair Color::	Black or blonde.
Eye Color::	Green.
Height::	Don't really care.
Tatoos::	I (strongly) perfer not.
Piercings::	I'll pass.
Body Type::	Don't care.
Hobbies::	As long as its not obsessive shopping or anything annoying like clubbing. I perfer someone who can share my own interests and studies.
Do You Believe In..
Ghosts::	Silly.
Aliens::	Perhaps.
God::	No.
Devil::	No.
Heaven::	Silly.
Hell::	Childish.
Afterlife::	Perhaps.
Have You Ever..
Been Arrested::	No.
Cheated::	No.
Been Cheated on::	No.
Had your Heart Broken::	Perhaps.
Broken someone elses Heart::	I hope not.
Stripped::	Disgusting.
Kissed more than two people in one night::	No and never.
Kissed someone of the same sex::	No.
Lied::	I am sure everyone has.
Gotten into a fight::	No. I have a good control over my emotions, thank you.
Passed out::	Heh. Exhuasted.
Stolen anything::	Unfortunately, the circumstances convinced me to do it.
Done something you regret::	Of course.
Been on T.V::	Awhile.
Been in Love::	I'll pass.
Last Person You..
Talked to on the phone::	Cheavarman.
Text Messaged:	I've never texted anyone.
Instant Messaged:	Jazmin.
Hugged::	Cheavaraman.
Kissed::	!!!!!!
Yelled at::	Cheavaraman.
Missed::	????
Were told loved you?:	Cheavaraman.

Obsession? I hope not.

2007-12-29T01:41:00.000-08:00

So its nearly 2 AM right now. December 28th. A month and two weeks shy of the cramming competition. What am I doing up late? Why am I not obsessively studying? Well, that's because I am in love with doing something else.

Its not Cheavaraman (sorry).

Its organizing.

I am pretty sure some of you can imagine me right now hunching over my desk and nitpicking at ever single flake of dust on my keyboard .... and, well, just before I lifted my fingers to type out these words, that was exactly what I am doing.

I wonder if this ... hobby ... is becoming a problem. I mean, its great to be organized, but its gotten to the point where I cannot function unless my surrounding area is organized. That constituted to why I slack off when I do.

Neat or obsessive compulsive? Well, it's your opinion.

Late night.

2007-12-26T02:01:00.000-08:00

Heh, its not 2 AM as I type this ... well, 2:01 AM to be exact. Where did the time go? Into my volumes of two inch binders, each encrypted with a Microsoft Word generated tab saying ACADEC on the back.

It seems as if the only person from school and Stockton, for that matter, that is still online is me and Charlie.

I find this quite soothing actually, just studying in silence by myself. I don't have to worry about those around me or anything at all.

Sigh, here is my best friend for the next few weeks. Oh well, its a nifty one. Made in France at that! That reminds me of Paris! WHEE! Some of you are probably wondering how I am keeping my sanity. I have been obsessively looking at Travel magazines I find on my spare time and cut out nifty headers and images to create collages on my notebook. It just reminds me of where I could possibly be within the next few years ... ahhh. The fine life.

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas.

2007-12-25T16:41:00.000-08:00

So its been a few days since I left school for the last time this year (2007). One of the last images I saw as I was leaving was the rainbow. I felt somewhat inspired by it, yet at the same time a little dejected because, looking back upon the year, it could have been much better. Perhaps this is a sign telling me that things will be fine after I cross the bridge to the last semester at Middle College and Delta.

Over the past three and a half years, I am not too sure how much I've changed and grown, because I am too busy looking forward to look behind or inside. However, taking the next few days to reflect.

On a side note ... Christmas this year was great! Let's see what offering were made to me:

- 130 dollars ( 40 from Aunt 7, 40 from Aunt 8, 30 from Grandma, 20 from Uncle 2)
- Stephanie ( Tote Bag, cute jacket!)
- Rose (Sweeney Todd Novelization)
- Julie (cute tin containers with cocoa!)
- Mom (nice gray jacket)
- Socks (Aunt 7)

A few photos:

I was pretty happy this year. I noted that a lot of people didn't bother to buy gifts, but I suppose money is more than fine with me.

On a side note, I paid off for eight-dollars worth of my UC applications. Phew. My cork board will be less filled now.

Christmas Spirit

2007-12-25T13:23:00.001-08:00

What The Holidays Mean to You

For you, the holidays are about generosity. You give as much as you possibly can to friends, family, and charity.

You celebrate the holidays in a natural style. Homemade gifts are your favorite, and you can't stand imitation Christmas trees or wreaths

During the holidays, you like to feel cozy and comfortable. You're happy to stay inside with a roaring fire and a warm drink.

You think the holidays should be comforting and relaxing. You don't like the holiday rush... you just like the simple pleasure of the holidays.

Your favorite holiday memories are complete and very visual. Past holiday events play out like a video in your mind.

What Do the Holidays Mean to You?

Hm.

2007-10-29T22:12:00.000-07:00

My highlighter is dead, so I used Crayola instead.

Who knew I was an uncouth heathen to give into
Satan's distractions of my studies.

My Halloween persona.

2007-10-16T22:26:00.001-07:00

What Your Halloween Habits Say About You

The scariest thing on Halloween is you! You definitely don't want any kids in costumes crossing your path - and you're willing to scare away any who do.

You often feel invisible when you're in public. And it's a shame, because you're really quite a character.

Your inner child is open minded, playful, and adventurous.

You truly fear the dark side of humanity. You are a true misanthrope.

You're logical, rational, and not easily effected. Not a lot scares you... especially when it comes to the paranormal.

You are unique, expressive, and a trendsetter. Your ideal Halloween costume is over the top and one of a kind.

What's Your Halloween Personality?

Sigh.

2007-10-11T17:08:00.001-07:00

Missed another day of school ...

Hm.

2007-10-10T13:51:00.000-07:00

I feel a lot better now after yesterday's dramatic episode. I felt so ill, more so than I ever felt in my entire life, but luckily I am alive and quickly recovering. I am preparing a nice pot of herbs to hasten the treatment.

Argh.

2007-10-10T00:10:00.000-07:00

I was so sick today ... my fever reached an all-time high of 101 degrees. I was so mad at my dad because he was too drunk to care, and my mom was gone on the other side of the country to help me. If my grandma wasn't there, I could have died. Sometimes I think my dad loves his alcohol more than anything or anyone else in the whole world.

Phew.

2007-10-09T11:18:00.000-07:00

After an aggravating morning, my throat finally calmed down a bit ... at least to a condition that I can somewhat tolerate.

Everyone left today, and Charlie came by to pick me up. We are like an old married couple; ah well, I'd say that is a compliment. Either way, I am speeding through all of my work like a racecar, and I feel quite proud of it, really. Though I was listening to some old professors talking about computers and multi-tasking and they turned to me was working, and we had a long conversation about it. Afterwards, after they left one by one after an hour or so.

Ironically, I was reading AcaDec goods, Times, and working the machines the scan in the slides. The professor patted me on the back and told me to take it easy ... I probably should.

Oh my god!

2007-10-08T21:48:00.000-07:00

My throat is throbbing with so much pain. It feels like its going to split into four pieces at this rate. I can't even drink water without feeling pain. Someone save me from this cruel world!

D=

Ugh.

2007-10-08T20:26:00.000-07:00

I have the worse sore throat I ever experienced. I can barely raise my voice.

So far its been an interesting day, including the strange occurrence on the computer. I went to a meeting for Artifact at 2 PM and there was apparently some controversy about an anti-homosexual article. Though I felt somewhat offended by it, even as a heterosexual, it needed to be in the paper, to be fair. So far I feel rather inspired for the magazine and I hope to do a lot more ...

Onto my personal life, I feel so miserable at home. My mother is New York, yet she won't stop calling back my home every night interrogating what my dad is doing. I was so angry because I was trying to do my exam, and she wouldn't stop calling! For some reason, I've been getting more and more ill lately. I hope that history doesn't repeat itself and I end up in a coma again. I remember last school year my parents were far too busy arguing with each other than anything else in the world, but I couldn't blame my mother, because my father loved nothing more than alcohol, and no one would be able to separate him and his true love.

What a wonderful world we live in. See you on the other side of the moon.

Something fucking creepy.

2007-10-08T12:36:00.000-07:00

So I was logging onto the school computer that I usually sit at to check the conditions of the stocks, and then I see on the toolbar for search: "bn lam khuten lam khuyen lam khuyrn lam." I just stared at it for the longest time with my eyes wide open. I don't understand what that was. Could someone possibly gotten a hold of my name? I always clear out my data, and even then, I never use the computer for anything personal that would require my name to be signed in.

If that is the case, what on earth was that? Is someone following me?

Sigh.

2007-10-07T18:28:00.000-07:00

And so I finished the grand exam yesterday, and I never felt so exhausted in my life before. When I came home, I was immediately sent to church for one or two hours, and when I returned, I realized that I made an epic error! I wrote in my planner that my exam was to be on Sunday, however, it was on Saturday! Yes, a three hour exam on the Analysis of Linguistics and Morphemes on the same day as damn test-that-must-not-be-spoken of. I labored painfully through the hours and eventually finished it all at 11:45 PM ... phew.

Its Sunday evening, and I look back on my "week-end" bread in disdain. What rest did I recieve? Nada. My mother left to New York now, and before she left, she came into my room and told me about a secret safe she had, and if anything were to happen to her, she wanted me to get access to it and get it out--and she warned me not to tell my father about it. How saddening. I think the most uncomfortable thing is seeing her constantly check up on my dad's phone records.

Well, Sunday it is. I am sitting at home by myself without no one other in the house besides TouTou the dog, and Headache.

I still have a lot more to do tonight ... Ugh, I must go to sleep at 10 PM tonight or else I'll suffer from a coma again.

On a side note, some of you may know that I have not been very happy in Journalism as of late, and yes, that is very much true. I have no freedom, and no power in the class. As soon as I tried to be proactive, people on the other side of the room were screaming at me and said, "Just because you made the Rebel last year, don't mean you have a voice in what goes on now!" I am a figure-head, or, in Charlie word's, "You are like the Emperor of Japan." That's a rather accurate term, Queen of England, Emperor ... etc. I am really just a figurehead in the class that receives the blame for things when all goes wrong. On the flip side, I currently love my job over at The Artifact. It feels so ... free there. I have the freedom to experiment, I have the freedom to be wild and expressive. I am honestly happy there, even if the labor is intense. By the way, I managed to come up with an interpretation of The Artifact:

Art - The creative products of human
I - Refers to the speaker or writer
Fact - A piece of information about circumstances that exist or events that have occurred

ART from the people, IF the people ACT.

I am quite happy with myself for that!

Either way, Melissa Yabumoto is going to start a dreaded club; as much as I want to join, I fear it will become a breeding ground for weeaboos, and its just too much for me to handle. I told her to post a picture of Haruhi and give people the option to:

A. JERK OFF
B. STUDY THE ART FORM WITH CARE

If they answer A, "UBER FAIL!" and kick them out. If they reply with the latter, say, "AGE."

Problem solved. See you on the other side of the moon.

Man ...

2007-10-04T11:13:00.001-07:00

You know you are overworked and crazy when you type in your college ID into your AIM handler.

So its college applications season, I have my SAT tests this Saturday, two jobs (soon to get the third),editor for four different things, and a bunch of clubs - oh yes, how can I possibly forget, AcaDec.

So tonight I had this awful dream of Mr. Hayashisaka, the epitome of a strict Japanese principal, screaming at us in the lunch room and forcing us to remain silent for half an hour and put our heads down. Jesus, that's one thing I don't want to experience again.

Well, I just finished all of my work quite early so now I am surfing the internet and waiting for my time slot to end. My employers are impressed with how quickly I manage to work. The girl who use to work my position would take a week or even moreso than use the Nikon machine and get through a box. After tampering with the program and machine for a few minutes, I was able to set it so that it moves faster. So what took her weeks to do is now taking me a day--two hours and thirty minutes to be exact. So I am pretty happy here.

I have yet to study for my SATs extensively--just a few scattered moments here and there. How can I possibly find the time to do that? I have to apply for scholarships, design a bunch of shit for people. Its a crazy and hectic life ...

On the subjects of scholarships, I decided to apply for the Hitachi Foundation. I might not win, but its worth a shot. I also found another good one, but there might be a problem. At first, it said that the scholarship was for ASIANS. As I read the rules further, it tend said Pacific Islander Asians. What on earth is that?

Well, I am most likely in no condition to write any essays since my English is rather poor. I must read a few more books on the Greek-styled rhetoric to improve it.

I am really behind lately. I have stopped attending Economics with Mr. Nagai for fun because of the time constraints, and I am waking up later and later. This is terrible since I made it a goal to work harder and wake up at 4 AM every morning. I cannot believe it, I had it all right! Argh.

I wonder if I am going to Osaka this year, but if I do, I refuse to stay at my grandaunt's house ... its far too cramp, even for a Japanese complex. Its a shame that all of the hotels there are so expensive, otherwise I could have been there two summers ago.

My AcaDec shit.

2007-09-25T23:49:00.000-07:00

(10:43:31 PM) Comrade KYL: 1: In the next four years after high school, I would like to major in Physical Anthropology, minor in Political Science, Arabic/Near Eastern Studies, and complete my pre-medical program. for acadec ...
(10:43:33 PM) Comrade KYL: Hmm
(10:43:35 PM) Comrade KYL: What else?
(10:43:57 PM) Kampuchea: =/
(10:44:07 PM) Kampuchea: I suppose you could expand upon that...
(10:44:23 PM) Kampuchea: Or perhaps list other personal objectives...
(10:44:35 PM) Kampuchea: Like relationship-wise...
(10:44:40 PM) Kampuchea: *hint hint.
(10:49:10 PM) Comrade KYL: har har, in all seriousness, what would be your personal object "relationship wise"?
(10:50:10 PM) Kampuchea: Get married, build a life with my loving wife, and live well,..

That said!

Personal Objective:
1: I am majoring in Physical Anthropology, minoring in Political Science, French, Arabic, and complete my pre-medical requirements. I would like to serve as an active duty military doctor so I can serve my country that gave me future—unlike my communistic native countries (both of them) that confiscated our estate/wealth (which belonged in our family for centuries). My reasoning for partaking in AcaDec is to bring my school to glory, and, more importantly, because history, to me, is the most valuable lesson to learn from and being able to study the Civil War thrills me.

School activities:
2: In the past three years of career in high school, I’ve partaken in Tribunal (a student-run judicial system at my school), writer, photographer and sole graphics designer of The Artifact (a large college magazine that deals with student articles, art and literature), Yearbook editor, photographer and sole graphic designer, Journalism editor, writer, photographer and graphics designer, Academic Decathlon Starter, S.A.D.D. member (Students Against Drunk Driving), and I was apart of the cast in many school productions and events (school plays, school-sponsored festivities).

Hobbies/Interests/Community Service/Jobs:
3: I am computer technician/clerical aid in the Professor’s Resource Center my community college (assisting professors with technical needs/programming online classes/teaching professors how to utilize programs; five hours a week), a housekeeper (six hours a week), and a graphics designer for Stockton Parks and Recreation Department. I volunteer at the Teen Center (computer technician/graphics designer) and I am a member of the Stockton Youth Advisory Commission (secretary and graphics designer). My hobbies include Arabic calligraphy, programming, and graphics designing.

4: Being able to handle up to eleven college units, six to five high school classes, extra-curricular activities and three jobs is an honor to me. I will receive my two AA degrees, completed seventy college units, completed my pre-major requirements for Anthropology and Political Science and be partially done with my pre-medical requirements by the end of this school year. My greatest achievement was designing the “REBEL YEARBOOK,” which not only brought up my confidence, but led me into my favorite hobby, graphics design. I have completed five years at my Sunday Vietnamese Roman Catholic school. I am a silver medalist in Chinese History, and Climatology for Academic Decathlon in the previous year, and I received the Principle’s List (three years), and Honor Roll (three years), Perfect Attendance (two years).